Grandma’s Stories

This nice story was sent to me by my good friend from Orlando, Michal Osteen.

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared to hear the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked:
 ”Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded: “Why…yes… I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied: “Why…yes… I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly collapsed.  
The judge instructed both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said: “If either of you, idiots, asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair!”

(Unknown source)

While this is a very nice and light story suitable for the last days of summer, I don’t want you to hold it against lawyers. Some of my best friends are lawyers and three of my four kids graduated from the same law school in Israel. Let’s rather use it as a good lesson for professionalism – always arrive ready and prepare your homework… 

Fireworks (13)
Shuka, Thursday, September 18, 2008

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